If you want to help, listen.

I had to ring the bank this week to organise payment in Euros to our German office. £25 to transfer money online!! But that’s not the point. Call centre person picks up the phone, UK based, but could still barely understand a word. Once the guy had finished being my new best mate I started to explain what I wanted to do. Literally half way through explaining it he interrupted with “how’s your day been today so far?”. What?!? Maybe he’d just watched Love Actually, the bit where Billy Bob Thornton plays the US President and waltzes into Number 10 Downing St. Or maybe he was following the new ‘customer service’ script that says you have to ask customers how their day has been so far. “Fine thanks” I said and carried on. Eventually we established that, surprisingly, they couldn’t help me and I would have to go into the branch to set the payment up. So much for the online revolution, but what really irked me was the interruption on the phone whilst I was explaining what I wanted to do. Oh I forgot to mention, that at the end of the (pointless) phone call I had to spend a further minute reassuring ‘Kev’ that yes he had answered all my questions and no there wasn’t anything else I needed.

I’ve just been to another shop. Having just had to go to the bank. As the bank had just charged me £25 for the pleasure of having to walk there in the rain and use their ‘service’ I was not full of the joys. I was buying a birthday card and also wanted some stamps. I handed the card over and as the words “Can I also...” left my mouth I was arksed (deliberate spelling) if I wanted to buy a teddy bear for the bargain price of £5 instead of £10. No, thanks, but AS I WAS JUST SAYING I’d like 12 second class stamps please. “We don’t sell second class stamps. Would you like some sprinkles to brighten up your card?”.

I then went to the post office. To buy some second class stamps. Finally, success. The girl behind the counter looked calm and in control. She asked me politely if she could help and then do you know what? She remained quiet and listened. 12 second class stamps in the bag! No offers of additional ‘bargains’, no desperate attempts to please, just job done efficiently and nicely.

So, if you work in customer service I reckon that what customers actually want is their issue dealt with calmly and efficiently. Which means, listen to what they say to you first. Being quiet is often more helpful than gabbling on like a fool, despite what the script says.

It got me thinking about how this translates to leadership....

Last week I ran a one-day leadership workshop for a client. Only having one day there’s a limit to how much we could do, but one thing we did cover was the importance of listening. As leaders you need to recognise that you will achieve a more positive outcome if you give people what they need rather than focussing on what is important to you. We cover the technique of empathic listening. Defined by Stephen Covey in ‘7 Habits’ as “seek first to understand and then be understood”. It’s about listening with the intent to understand rather than listening with the intent to reply. So often as managers we go into problem solving mode and are already diagnosing and judging what needs to be done before the other person has finished speaking. The point is you can only satisfy someone’s needs if you fully understand what those needs are, and that means making the conscious effort to listen. It means paying attention, remaining quiet, not getting distracted and not jumping to conclusions. If you find yourself focussing on offering your people sprinkles to brighten up their cards, fluffy teddies at knock down prices or asking them how their day has been so far whilst they are still talking they will rapidly get fed up with you.

Try these simple things.

Do not:

• do not speak until they have finished
• do not refresh your email whilst they are speaking
• do not interrupt
• do not be tempted to start diagnosing the course of action
  

Do:

• remain quiet
• look at them at all times. Not scary staring eye contact, but lots of eye contact
• nod at appropriate times
• summarise what they have said at the end to make sure you are clear and they are happy that you’ve grasped it
  

Do this and you will make sure that the rest of their day is genuinely better than it would have been.